Chillin on a beautiful morning...

Looking across the lake

Iona Lake at Sunrise

Enough said....

On the Subject of .... the Beauty Paw-Lair

First Night in New Home

Since, Dogs are of ancient Linage and we are basically pack animals,  who lived in many Dens or Lairs, I refer to my grooming place as a Paw-lair (if you prefer the French Parlour, Parlor, Shop, Saloon or Salon, you can use it human, I will stick to Paw-lair for the purpose of this blog).  When I was first adopted by my “D”, I was a real mess (see photo).  I do not like to show anyone how I looked then, because as a sophisticated lady, I was embarrassed, and I have my pride.  I do, however, feel it’s important to discuss proper grooming for a lady Yorkshire, and therefore will share my experience, with you.  

Yorkshire Terriers (Yorkies) have Hair like a human, fine and silky (not a two layer coat like most dogs), some care should be taken to keep it clean, untangled and shinny.  My “D” gives me a bath, at least every two weeks or more often if I need it. I like to roll on dead frogs on my morning walks, so, sometimes I need it once a week. He uses a nice Tearless Shampoo called “Fresh ‘n Clean”, by Lambert Kay that has Vitamin E & Aloe.  I like the water so I do not put up a fuss (well not much), with the gentle spray in the sink.  After Towel Drying, I get the hot air treatment, whilst he brushes me smooth and dry.  Then he sprays me with my favorite “BuddySplash” Lavender & Mint Spritzer & Conditioner, from Cloud Star, which makes me smell really nice, brushing me a little more.  Every two months I get the royal treatment including my nails.  I get my nails cut, because I don’t like the grinding machine on my feet.

When I first came home, from the Cumberland County ASPA, in Vineland, NJ,  after my hysterectomy (this means they took out my Hoo Haa bits), I was not allowed to get wet for several weeks, until my scar healed.  My “D” was frantic and frankly so was I; I could hardly see. Because there was so much hair in my eyes and I was a tangled mess.  “D” made an appointment at Petsmart’s Grooming Paw-lair, in Vineland and finally the day came when I would be beautiful again (or so I thought).  My “D” dropped me off at the desk; they signed me up and took my vital statics.  He then indicated how he would like me to look and afterwards went into the store to look around, whilst (I’m from Yorkshire, so I use the English Whilst) I was being tended to.  Well I did not like this type of attention AT ALL; the noise, the strange people and they held me down, stretched my legs on a table, or made me stand still and attempted to “Lectrocute” me with this big metal lawnmower.  Of course I snarled and fussed, because I was scared, after all I was only 8 months old at the time.  When I did that they put this big plastic funnel around my neck, “what the Jackal”.  Needless to say, I jumped like a kangaroo over this situation.  About this time my “D” came around and peeked into the window, to watch the horror taking place (at least that was my point of view at the time).  When the Grey Haired lady, with the big crooked nose, saw my “D”, she stopped torturing me and went out to greet him, taking her broom with her.  At last they stopped this inquisition on my body.  “D” later related to me that she suggested that they give me Scopolamine, well maybe not that (I got the name from watching “The Guns of Navarone on TCM the other day), but some other DRUG, for sure, I may have misunderstood.  She also suggested to have me SHAVED.  Then she called a man over for a conference telling my “D” to get me out of there and don’t come back, as I was unmanageable.  My “D” was furious and proceeded to tell the Person (I am being nice here) to @$%#!!!^#.  I didn’t understand the words it was beyond my Barkprehension.  He said “Do you mean to tell me that you can’t handle a 6.8 pound cutie pie like her (he loves me)? “D” picked me up and left vowing never to return.  Later he did not blame Petsmart as the groomers are a separate part.

After my Beauty Visit

Checking out the side door

My “D” then called the Clayton Veterinarian, where he takes the “Big Black Monster” who lives upstairs. He asked if they had any recommendations.  They suggested “Kris’sKennel Kuts” across the street.  He made the appointment.  The day came; my “D” talked to the nice lady at the counter and told her the above story and she said “we know how to handle a lady and we have staff that specialize in Yorkies."  That was two months ago and today was my next appointment. I just came back home and I look beautiful once again.  I recommend “Kris’s Kennel Kuts” in Clayton, NJ. Here is a map.  If you stop by, ask to see my friend Mary (she does my face) and say Dolly sent you.  She knows how to respect a Lady.  

Kris's Kennel Kuts, Clayton, NJ

 It just goes to show you there are bad Beauty Paw-lairs and there are good Beauty Paw-lairs, take your time and choose wisely, asking other dogs about their experience.  Every time I pass by that Groomer’s window, at Petsmart, when shopping with my “D”, I want to pee on them.  After the Beauty Paw-lair, my “D” always takes me to Barbara Anne's Downtown andoutdoor Café, in Clayton, for breakfast. They like me there and know me by name (tell you about that another time)

Jorge (The Musical Frog) Part 1.

A little pond in Acirema

Jorge (Pronounced Hor-Hey)  is a talented and very likable frog, who was born one September morning, 2 years ago, (that’s 20 years ago, in frog years), in a little pond, in the small village of “Anoi”, in the magic land of “Acirema”.  In the Magic Land of Acirema, a frog can be anything he wants to be and one of the nice things about this magic land is that there is a small travel portal and frogs can use this travel portal to come in and out of our world for visits from time to time.  I didn’t know Jorge then; it is only recently that we have become acquainted. 

Jorge grew up in a close family with 35 brothers and 22 sisters.  Even though they always fought one another over Mosquito Larvae, he stilled loved them all.  Although Jorge had a loving family, he always dreamed of being a handsome prince, who would find his true love and longed for that special someone to fill the emptiness he felt.  As a small tadpole, going to school with other tadpoles, he became very aware that he was different than most of the other tadpoles, but didn’t know why. So as he was growing into a frog, Jorge, kept to his books and studied very hard and didn’t socialize very much.  He longed to be loved, but didn’t know how to go about it. 

OMG I'm Pink

One day, while Jorge was sitting on the edge of his pond, in Anoi, he hopped onto nearby lily pad and while he was trying to catch his balance, he looked over the edge and saw his reflection in the pond water.  He screamed in Horror, “OMG, now I know why I feel different, OMG, OMG, OMG, it’s because I AM PINK and PLUMP”” they are all looking at me”, he Croaked at the top of his lungs”.  “What will I ever do” he said, “I am not like the other frogs they’re green and thin.  Now I will never find my own true love, because no one will want me.  Jorge began wrapping himself up more and more into his music and when he went out, to other ponds, to socialize, he would try and hide the fact he was different, from the other frogs by wearing a green rubber suit, a small green lily pad on his head and a large watch on his leg in hopes of diverting conversation about himself.  He would always, also avoided large groups of other frogs.  One day he spent a hundred flies, on a Silver Bud Wiser Cap, just to put it in the back pocket of his green rubber suit.  It made him feel better about himself.

Jorge the Pink Clarinettist

Eventually, while studying his books he became even more interested in music, “wow” he said to himself, one day,  “music is really interesting and fun”.   As time passed, he became especially enamored with an instrument call a “Clarinet” , his best friend and cousin, “Gnik Nemzzaj” obtained one for him, from our world, on one of her magic travel portal excursions.  (The clarinet is a musical instrument of the woodwind type. The name derives from adding the suffix –“et” (meaning little) to the Italian word clarino (meaning a type of trumpet), as the first clarinets had a strident tone similar to that of a trumpet.)  The more he studied the more he became fascinated with the Clarinet and especially the music of a person from our world call “Benny Goodman”.  He decided he would create a “BIG” band, modeled after his idol Benny Goodman.  So 7 frog years ago, at the frog age of 13 he formed an ensemble orchestra, of like minded clarinet playing frogs, from Notnommah and the surrounding region, and called it the “Notnommah Woodwinds".  The group became very much in demand around the south Acirema area.  Eventually Jorge went off to study at the very prestigious Acirema School of music at Drailluj.   

Jorge, in his Green Rubber Suit Playing the Clarinet (without his hat and watch)

Over the years, Jorge developed an extensive Clarinet collection.  He had a Piccolo Clarinet (very rare), about 5 Soprano Clarinets, (including   a very rare Kunstformenvaris ,that was made from African Blackwood 3000 frog years ago,  and cost over 25,000 flies),  a couple of Basset, and Alto range too.  He also had one Contrabass Clarinet, but he didn’t play that one very often, because he couldn’t croak hard enough to play it properly.  A few times he took some of his collection into work to show everyone and they were fascinated by how expensive the instruments could be.

Exclusive line of lures

Time passed and when he was 19 frog years old, he took a job at a very exclusive fly fishing store at the Droftped Pond, in Acirema, where he made very exclusive lures from Mosquitoes Larvae.  Now it was along about this time frame that I met Jorge for the first time, but let me tell you more of his background before I get into that.  While working at the Fly Fishing Store he met his 3 best friends Yaj, Yorel and Adnilem.   Adnilem was around his age and she worked at the Fly Fishing Store too, but had an extensive background as a Prima Dona Toad from the nearby fields.  Yaj and Yorel were older more experience frogs, so Jorge began to look up to them as father figures and became comfortable with the friendship.  But he still longed to be a handsome prince and find his true love, so he sought advice from Yaj, of course Yaj was all too happy to take Jorge under his frog leg and teach him the ways of the Pond. Days, weeks, months, passed and he started to jump from Lilly Pad to Lilly Pad twice a day, to get more exercise and lose weight.  Because of his association with Yaj and dining out on occasion, Jorge, began to develop a taste for Greek Olives and guess what?  From eating all of those Greek Olives, he gradually began to turn green.  He started to look really good and was feeling much better about himself, but he stilled longed to be loved.  Many times, Jorge shared his vision of the perfect romantic evening with his intended beloved with his friend Yaj.  “Yaj”, he said, “I would take her out to the most gorgeous Lilly Pad cluster on Anoi Lake and play my clarinet to beautiful SAINT-SAENS: Opera paraphrases and at just the right moment, while reciting a lovely poem, by the human poet, Hillarie Belloc –

Dreaming of his one true love

“ Be kind and tender to the Frog,
And do not call him names,
As "Slimy skin," or "Polly-wog,"
Or likewise "Ugly James,"
Or "Gap-a-grin," or "Toad-gone-wrong,"
Or "Bill Bandy-knees":
The Frog is justly sensitive
To epithets like these.
No animal will more repay
A treatment kind and fair;
At least so lonely people say
Who keep a frog (and, by the way,
They are extremely rare).”  

“Then I would give her a silver fly that was the Key to my stomach, I would regurgitate the silver fly, tonguing it over, so she could wear it around her neck and we would live happily ever after”.  “What do you think Yaj?” Jorge asked.  Yaj said “You’ve got a lot to learn Jorge, stop trying so hard, love will come when it comes”.  It seemed that every week Jorge would be telling Yaj that he had finally fallen in love only to be disappointed with shallow animals.  First it was the Chipmunk and that didn’t last, then the Turtle, the snake, the rabbit, the squirrel, the duck, surely the Goldfish, was beautiful, but alas had no legs one day he met a flamingo and said to himself “This has got to be true love, she’s pink like me, or rather as I would revert back to if I stop eating those Greek Olives”.  Jorge was shattered when one day even the flamingo abandoned him.  Yaj said “You’ve got a lot to learn Jorge, stop trying so hard, love will come when it comes.  Jorge replied “I am going to become a Monkfish” then scurried off.

My name is Jorge, PEACE

Now that brings me to how  I met Jorge:  There I was sitting on my front porch, about 3 frog years ago, just minding my own Yorkie business, when I see this bright flash of light, coming from the lighthouse in my front yard pond.  I didn’t think anything of it, at first because “D” tells me that this is what Lighthouses are supposed to do, but then all of a sudden out jumps this plumb pink frog and lands in my front yard pond, …Kerplunk….  Imagine my surprise, because all of the frogs I had ever seen in the past were green.  I said “Bark, Bark, Bark, which means “Hello my name is Dolly, what is your name?”  He said “Gribbit, Gribbit” and at first I didn’t understand him, but then he gave me, what I came later to understand, was a magic ring.  I immediately picked it up in my mouth and began to chew on it, when suddenly, I heard him say “Grib..….my name is Jorge, PEACE and stop chewing on that ring”, “Wow!” I said I can understand you, and he said “of course you can, that’s a magic ring and among other things its serves as a universal translator.”  “Now put that on your paw and keep it there so we can communicate.” he exclaimed.

We became great friends and have been at many places together. Now! Here comes the shocker! after I have just come to love Jorge he announces one day last month he is going to move to some faraway place called “Dloheerf  ” in central “Acirema”, where ever the Woof!  That is.  I wish him luck, but I am not sure I will ever see him again.

 (To be Continued……..)